Message from Ron Prentice - September 3, 2010  >  Common Sense Without Compromise  >  California Family Minute  >  Tolerance and Faith Collide  >  LIFE IS SHORT, HAVE AN AFFAIR. NOT!

LIFE IS SHORT, HAVE AN AFFAIR. NOT!

Life • Marriage • Parental Authority

LIFE IS SHORT, HAVE AN AFFAIR. NOT!   
A Toronto-based online dating agency targets married people seeking to have affairs. No kidding. In addition to billboards in Los Angeles and New York City that say “Life is short, have an affair,” the company has been featured on numerous television and radio talk shows. It reportedly advertises on such standard channels as FOX and ESPN, and recently the company was denied ad placement during the Super Bowl and “The Marriage Ref,” a new TV reality show. Just what we need: more “for profit” promotion of immorality. Unhappy? We can help you get a li’l something on the side (and REALLY mess up your life). 
The practice of marriage is like an escalator. It may seem that we’re standing still, but we’re always moving in one direction or another. It is the same with the practice of faith. Success in both is dependent upon the direction we choose, the goals we set, and our effort. 
The idea of marriage is romantic, but the reality of marriage is something quite different. A friend of mine told me of his conversation with a woman seated next to him on a recent flight. “How long have you been married?” she asked. When my friend replied “30 years” the woman exclaimed, “You are so lucky!” My friend said that he was offended by her naïveté, but held his emotions in check and politely replied, “Luck has nothing to do with it. Marriage takes work, and a daily commitment.”    
Marriage ceremonies refer to “holy matrimony” for a reason. Anything that involves God is holy. Holiness has love as one of its components, but it is broader than emotional love. Thank God, literally, that His covenant with us is based on more than emotional love. God joins with a man and a woman in the three-cord strand of fidelity. He supplies a bond that is stronger than any two people could create without Him.
In the past week I’ve been made aware of two marriages that are ending in divorce. One of the families I know through our daughters’ friendship, and the other family’s dad is a colleague. In all, five children are involved, between the ages of 8 and 19. To my knowledge, there has been no physical or emotional abuse in the homes, and I’m not aware of any affairs in either marriage, although extra-marital emotional and sexual affairs are the cause for divorce far more often than is admitted. The casualties of these divorces will be many, and they will be life-long. The willingness of all involved to trust again – both emotionally and spiritually – will be impacted.
Why is there a rise in the levels of divorce? Sometimes it is because we lack a healthy fear of God when we make our vows to Him. Another reason is that society and government has diminished marriage’s value and made divorce too convenient. And still another reason is that divorce’s impact is multi-generational. That is, as we live through our parents’ divorce, we innocently take on “baggage” that may negatively impact our own success in intimate relationships. There really is something to the biblical concept of “the sins of the fathers.”  
What can you do about your marriage?                 
·         If you’re unhappy in your marriage and tempted to cheat or leave, make yourself accountable to others whom you trust. Go to your minister and confess it. If you don’t have a minister, CFC can help. Give us a call.
·         If you’re involved in an affair, end it immediately. Don’t be nice about it. Don’t wait for the “right” time. Do it by phone or letter, and don’t talk to the other person again. Yes, that may mean making an employment change. The alternative is far more costly.
·         Speak to a counselor. Focus on the Family has an extensive list of referrals for counseling in your geographical area. Call them at 1-800-A FAMILY.
Life is short, marriage and family is job number one, and God has better plans for us than our own. 

Yours in service,
Ron Prentice

P.S. If you appreciate CFC’s work and are able to give a gift of support, we could sure use your help. Thank you!
 
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