Difficult Lesson Learned
Difficult lessons learned
Mistakes made in youth, as the former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, recently discovered, can have far-reaching consequences. The 22-year-old was catapulted onto the national stage for her honest remarks about marriage to a pageant judge who had a pro-homosexual agenda. Prejean, like many of us, had made mistakes in her youth – mistakes that came back to haunt her under the spotlight of media scrutiny. A sexually explicit video, which she called, “the worst mistake of my life,” came to light.
Many teens that interact with their peers through a variety of technological devices – texting on cell phones, chatting online, and journaling on social networks – may have developed a carelessness due to familiarity. Teens, who often view their online profiles more as personal diaries, fail to realize the outer bounds and finality of cyberspace. Once a message or photo is sent or posted online, it travels infinitely in a matter of minutes.
Today’s technological devices bombard teens and children – who lack an adult’s judgment – with messages tinged with sex, glitz, and media power. The technology of cyberspace has enlarged their world, yet their habitual use of computers and cell phones has dampened their sense of the potential dangers involved.
Prejean, in a recent interview with Christianity Today, explained, “It was a really stupid, stupid decision that I made. But I take full responsibility for it. Did I think I would ever be a celebrity or that my boyfriend at the time, who I sent it to, would ever blackmail me? No. I think we all make mistakes and we all do things when we're young that sometimes backfire later in life.” She hopes the lessons she learned will help others to avoid some of the same mistakes. “All Christians fall short, and hopefully mothers can hear my story and check their daughters' cell phones and Facebook pages. Young people are doing it every single day.”
She’s right. Twenty percent (1 in 5) teens report that they have “electronically sent or posted online nude or semi-nude pictures or videos of themselves.” Nearly two-thirds of young adults aged 20-26 admitted sending such messages. Known as “sexting,” this phenomenon reaps serious consequences from embarrassment to criminal prosecution. One teen committed suicide after a photo she sent went global, and young men have been labeled and forced to register as sex offenders.
Childhood innocence has been corrupted by media campaigns using “sex” to sell everything from clothes to video games, and the messages have had a direct effect on our teens and “tweens”’ views of sexuality. Teens admit they feel “conflicted” about this behavior, yet – while knowing that intimate content may be spread throughout cyberspace – they feel pressured to do so. Half said they did so in response to “pressure from a guy,” and 85 percent of girls said they sent such messages or photos to “get or keep a guy’s attention.” Add to peer pressure the whopping 90 to 95 percent of school children carrying a cell phone – many of them with unlimited Web access and built-in cameras – and we have a recipe for disaster.
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, in its 2008 Sex and Tech survey report offers suggestions to both parents and teens to prevent other young teens from falling into the same trap that Carrie Prejean did.
Think about potential consequences before pressing “send”:
Mistakes made in youth, as the former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, recently discovered, can have far-reaching consequences. The 22-year-old was catapulted onto the national stage for her honest remarks about marriage to a pageant judge who had a pro-homosexual agenda. Prejean, like many of us, had made mistakes in her youth – mistakes that came back to haunt her under the spotlight of media scrutiny. A sexually explicit video, which she called, “the worst mistake of my life,” came to light.
Many teens that interact with their peers through a variety of technological devices – texting on cell phones, chatting online, and journaling on social networks – may have developed a carelessness due to familiarity. Teens, who often view their online profiles more as personal diaries, fail to realize the outer bounds and finality of cyberspace. Once a message or photo is sent or posted online, it travels infinitely in a matter of minutes.
Today’s technological devices bombard teens and children – who lack an adult’s judgment – with messages tinged with sex, glitz, and media power. The technology of cyberspace has enlarged their world, yet their habitual use of computers and cell phones has dampened their sense of the potential dangers involved.
Prejean, in a recent interview with Christianity Today, explained, “It was a really stupid, stupid decision that I made. But I take full responsibility for it. Did I think I would ever be a celebrity or that my boyfriend at the time, who I sent it to, would ever blackmail me? No. I think we all make mistakes and we all do things when we're young that sometimes backfire later in life.” She hopes the lessons she learned will help others to avoid some of the same mistakes. “All Christians fall short, and hopefully mothers can hear my story and check their daughters' cell phones and Facebook pages. Young people are doing it every single day.”
She’s right. Twenty percent (1 in 5) teens report that they have “electronically sent or posted online nude or semi-nude pictures or videos of themselves.” Nearly two-thirds of young adults aged 20-26 admitted sending such messages. Known as “sexting,” this phenomenon reaps serious consequences from embarrassment to criminal prosecution. One teen committed suicide after a photo she sent went global, and young men have been labeled and forced to register as sex offenders.
Childhood innocence has been corrupted by media campaigns using “sex” to sell everything from clothes to video games, and the messages have had a direct effect on our teens and “tweens”’ views of sexuality. Teens admit they feel “conflicted” about this behavior, yet – while knowing that intimate content may be spread throughout cyberspace – they feel pressured to do so. Half said they did so in response to “pressure from a guy,” and 85 percent of girls said they sent such messages or photos to “get or keep a guy’s attention.” Add to peer pressure the whopping 90 to 95 percent of school children carrying a cell phone – many of them with unlimited Web access and built-in cameras – and we have a recipe for disaster.
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, in its 2008 Sex and Tech survey report offers suggestions to both parents and teens to prevent other young teens from falling into the same trap that Carrie Prejean did.
Think about potential consequences before pressing “send”:
- Don’t assume anything you send or post is going to remain private.
- There is no changing your mind in cyberspace – anything you send or post will never truly go away.
- Don’t give into the pressure to do something that makes you uncomfortable, especially in cyberspace.
- Consider the recipient’s reaction.
- Nothing is truly anonymous.
Talk to your kids about sex and technology:
- Talk to your kids about what they are doing in cyberspace.
- Know those with whom your kids are communicating.
- Consider limitations on electronic communication.
- Be aware of what your teens are posting publicly.
- Set expectations.
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