Dateline Sacramento (10/29/2009)
Dateline Sacramento
News with a View from the California Capitol
October 29, 2009
MARRIAGE: Institutional Model vs. Soul-Mate Model
“Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal.” ~ Louis A. Anspacher (American Playwright and Director)
In a recent essay in the inaugural edition of National Affairs, a quarterly journal of essays discussing domestic policy, political economy, and society and culture, Dr. W. Bradford Wilcox discusses the rise of divorce in the United States as Americans have abandoned the “institutional model” of marriage, choosing instead a “soul-mate model.” In his essay, The Evolution of Divorce,” Professor Wilcox, Director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, describes how changes in divorce law and societal mores have essentially gutted marriage.
“Fault” or “No-fault”
In 1970, California irrevocably changed the way people look at marriage and divorce by passing the nation’s first no-fault divorce law. Prior to 1970, a divorce required spousal wrongdoing or “fault.” Without establishing “spousal fault,” there were no legal grounds for divorce, and marriages remained intact.
California’s no-fault law removed the requirement for a spouse to establish “fault” as cause for divorce. No-fault laws provide either spouse the freedom to sue for divorce for any reason or for absolutely no reason. These new laws birthed the concept of unilateral divorce – the ability of one spouse to end a marriage anytime they desired.
Since 1970, only New York has failed to adopt strict no-fault laws. Every other state has adopted some form of “no-fault” law.
The Divorce Revolution
Dr. Wilcox argues in his essay that the “nearly universal introduction of no-fault divorce helped open the [divorce] floodgates…because the laws facilitated unilateral divorce and provided moral legitimacy to the dissolution of marriages.” He further explains how the “anti-institutional” nature of the period also contributed greatly to the rise in divorce. During the 1960s and 1970s, America was experiencing great societal experimentation and change, with the growth of “swinging” (the practice of wife swapping) and advancement of feminism, contributing to the rise of the divorce revolution.
Institutional Model vs. Soul-mate Model
The most harmful change during this period was the supplanting of the “institutional” model of marriage by a “soul-mate” model of marriage. Prior to the divorce revolution, respect, duty, obligation and sacrifice characterized most marriages. Under the institutional model of marriage, spouses valued family cohesion and growth over individual desires. The institutional model focused fundamentally on the universal ideals of marriages and family, including intimacy, mutual support, child-rearing and shared values.
Conversely, the divorce revolution resulted in increased value being placed on individual desires and expectations, giving birth to the “soul-mate” model of marriage. The primary focus in this soul-mate model of marriage was no longer the success of the family, but the ability of the individual to experience an intense emotional relationship with another. Wilcox explains that failure to maintain such an intense emotional relationship with a spouse often leads to personally unfulfilling marriages, which in turn is more likely to motivate one or the other spouse to divorce.
The impact on children and marriage
Wilcox’s essay extensively discusses research findings regarding the impact of the rise of divorce and the psychological changes a “soul-mate” model marriage has had on children and marriage. While the institutional model prioritized the welfare of children and family unity, the soul-mate model “prioritized the emotional welfare of adults...” This societal change resulted in the following:
- Since 1974, approximately 1 million children per year will see their parents’ divorce;
- 31% of adolescents of divorced parents dropped out of high school;
- 33% of teen girls of divorced parents became teen mothers; and
- 11% of boys from divorced families end up spending time in prison before age 32.
It is estimated that, if the institutional model of marriage remained intact today as in 1960, and America had not undergone such major societal changes, the following would have resulted:
- 750,000 fewer children repeating grades;
- 1.2 million fewer school suspensions;
- approximately 500,000 fewer acts of teenage delinquency;
- about 600,000 fewer children receiving mental health therapy; and
- approximately 70,000 fewer teen suicide attempts.
Wilcox’s research clearly demonstrates the damage the divorce revolution has caused to the lives of millions of children. However, the essay further illuminates the devastating impact divorce has had on marriage itself. Since 1970, the marital quality experienced by husbands and wives has fallen, while divorce rates have risen. The decline in marital quality and increased divorce rates have served to undermine marriage, as couples and young adults lose faith in marital permanency. Over the last 30 years, cohabitation has surged – from 439,000 in 1960 to 6.4 million in 2007.
While the essay notes that marital happiness (quality) has stabilized and divorce has decreased in the last several years, high divorce rates continue to exist for less-educated and poor Americans. Wilcox exposes the new challenge America faces as the nation attempts to address the current “divorce divide.”
No Longer Turning a Blind Eye
Perhaps your child came home from school this week wearing a red ribbon as a reminder to say no to drugs. While Red Ribbon Week has become a commonplace annual occurrence in schools nationwide, not as much attention has been paid to another addiction wooing many of our children. This week is also White Ribbon Week, a week set aside to alert the public – and parents – about the increasing dangers of pornography. Unknown to many parents, most children come into contact with pornographic material before age 13.
Addiction
The presumptive message of our sex-crazed media – television, print, and Internet – is that pornography is harmless and people don’t care, anyway. On the contrary, pornography is extremely addictive. According to experts, pornography has a chemical effect on the brain that leaves the viewer wanting more. Similar to other addictions, most who view pornography regularly find they need to increase their habits to maintain the same level of satisfaction. Its harmlessness is a myth, as it often leads to more aggressive sexual behaviors and the targeting of women and children as victims. When one researcher interviewed defendants convicted for possession of child pornography, all defendants asserted that they only viewed material and “[they] didn’t harm an actual child.” Yet continued research with polygraphs caused 85 percent to later admit their physical offenses – often multiple times – against real children.
Online Danger
The explosion of the Internet and technology has been a boon for purveyors of pornographers. Between 1998 and 2003, the number of pornographic Web pages increased 2,000 percent. Adults who once may have been too embarrassed to walk into an adult-oriented business can now access materials online in the privacy of their homes. If a child were to wander into an adult business in town, he would promptly be ushered out; yet online, he can click onto a commercial pornography site with little restraint. While filters may slow down access for some, an unsupervised friend with unrestricted access may lead to exposure for many. (Morality in Media)
Younger and younger
Kids are encountering unwanted filth on the Internet at younger and younger ages. In a 2005 study by researchers at the University of New Hampshire, 42 percent of youngsters had encountered online pornography in a year’s time – and two-thirds of those had not purposely done so. A 1999 study found one-quarter of all minors had been inadvertently exposed to sexually explicit material that year. More than 80 percent of children using e-mail report receiving inappropriate messages, and 47 percent say they receive pornographic spam daily; One in five report opening and viewing spam e-mail. (Children and Pornography Online, Citizenlink)
As younger children are besieged by graphic sexual images, they become more accepting of such denigrating behaviors. MTV – long criticized for its problematic programming – has found it can push the envelope with its online fare. The Parents TV Council reports that MTV’s online content – available 24/7 to anyone of any age – is pushing sex and graphic language to kids.
What you can do
Pornography leads to the ruin of marriages and families and to the exploitation of children. Children deserve to grow up with their moral compasses intact – not cheapening their self-worth or their ideals of sexual relationships and family life through exposure to smut.
Parents, become knowledgeable about the subject of pornography by consulting some of the resources below. Talk to your child openly about what he is exposed to online – and the dangers that lurk there. Caution him about online “stranger danger,” and not to post identifying information or photos available to the general public. Monitor their Internet exposure and place the computer in an open family room – not a sheltered alcove, den, or bedroom. Investigate blocking software and determine if it can be part of a workable solution for you and your family.
For more information:
- Focus on the Family’s Issue Analysis: Pornography and Children
- Focus on the Family Safety Resources
- Morality in Media
- Enough is Enough
- The Parents Television Council
A Great Opportunity for You to Make a Real Difference
Apply for the Citizens Redistricting Commission
Every 10 years, after the national census, all states participate in a redistricting process by which they re-draw the maps that define electoral districts for representatives of bodies like the Legislature and the Board of Equalization. Each district is supposed to represent an equal share of the population, and – until now – it was the duty of the Legislature and the governor to oversee this process in California.
Voters changed that process in November of 2008 when they approved Proposition 11, also known as the Voters FIRST Act, which created California's first Citizens Redistricting Commission. This provides an exciting opportunity for California voters to become involved in redistricting. We hope you’ll consider applying to be a member of that commission.
In times past, the legislative districts were drawn with an emphasis on geographic location and population density. Each Senate district also included two corresponding Assembly districts within it. Districts were drawn regionally, some smaller and some larger, depending on population density.
In the year 2000, the California Legislature largely abandoned the previous guidelines and, by a nearly unanimous vote, drew what are now known as “safe” districts. They gerrymandered California’s population into districts where the voter registration was overwhelmingly Democrat or overwhelmingly Republican. That plan supposedly protected those already in office from serious challenges from the opposing party, and basically disenfranchises citizens who are unhappy with their current office holders.
Because the party affiliation in districts is so overwhelmingly one-sided today, it is nearly impossible to change a seat in the Legislature from one party to another. This has led to the polarization of the California Legislature. There is very little incentive for compromise. Politicians are now safe no matter how they vote, so they refuse to listen to opposing points of view – giving nearly unlimited influence to special interests with deep pockets. And the results are devastating.
California, once the fifth-largest economy in the world, is near bankruptcy despite its citizenry bearing one of the highest tax burdens in the nation. Central Valley farmers, who can’t get enough water pumped into their region to grow crops, now stand in lines at regional food banks to meet their most basic needs. Radical special interests push their agendas unimpeded through the Legislature, while the voice of the majority of California’s citizens is intentionally ignored. This is why voters passed Proposition 11. The current system disenfranchises the very citizens the politicians are elected to serve.
Evidenced by the latest poll numbers released just two weeks ago, voters are very unhappy with their elected officials. This approval rating for California legislators has never been lower, yet the same politicians keep getting re-elected. Why? Safe districts. Now, however, under Proposition 11, California citizens have taken the initiative and now have a chance to draw these districts themselves.
The Voters FIRST Act specifically placed the job of seeking citizen applications for this new commission in the hands of the California state auditor. CFC is encouraging you to apply to serve on this commission. Maybe you know someone whom you would recommend. Call them and encourage them to apply. This is a great opportunity for you to make a real difference in our state.
If you have questions or comments call the California State Auditor toll free at 1-866-356-5217 or send an e-mail at votersfirstact@bsa.ca.gov. Don’t miss this great opportunity.
Local Links
LODI – After Karen Buchanan, a three-year Lodi resident, sought to force the Lodi City Council to comply with their own policy requiring “non-sectarian and non-denominational prayer,” the city council approved a new prayer policy. The new policy broadened its provisions to allow religious leaders to offer uncensored prayers. Read more in the Lodi News-Sentinel.
TURLOCK – One of the ways the members of Turlock’s City Council freely exercise their Christian religion is with an invocation before their meetings. Until August 13, the invocations often ended “in Jesus’ name.” Freedom of religious expression is protected by the Free Expression Clause of the U.S. Constitution’s First Amendment. This is the same clause protecting freedom of speech, including that of the press. The Wisconsin-based Freedom from Religion Foundation (FFRF), in a letter sent August 13 to Mayor Lazar and members of the Turlock City Council, argues that such prayer goes beyond free expression to an establishment of religion by the state, breaching the wall between church and state, in violation of the Establishment Clause of the U.S. Constitution’s First Amendment. Read at Examiner.com.
FRESNO –Three Presbyterian congregations in California's San Joaquin Valley are breaking from a national denomination (PCUSA) in a rift over the Bible and homosexuality. Trinity Presbyterian Church in Clovis, First Presbyterian Church in Fresno and Fowler Presbyterian Church all have held services this month to join the conservative Evangelical Presbyterian Church based in Michigan. Read more at the Associate Press website.
Truth Project Opportunities
RIVERSIDE – California Family Council continues to expand its offerings of the acclaimed Truth Project group leader training seminars. Training in biblical worldview is a prerequisite to living out authentic Christianity in today’s postmodern culture, with its subjective claims of truth.
The next Truth Project group leader training seminar:
Saturday, November 14, 2009
8:30 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.
Host Church: Neighborhood Church of Anderson and Cottonwood (Shasta County)
4684 Rhonda Rd., Anderson, CA 96007
Saturday, November 21, 2009
8:30 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.
Host Church: Calvary Chapel, Paso Robles (Central Coast)
1615 Commerce Way #A, Paso Robles, 93446-3614
For more information on attending or hosting a seminar, call the California Family Council at 951.354.8362 and ask for Trudy. Register online for seminars at: www.californiafamily.org.
