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MARRIAGE: Institutional Model vs. Soul-Mate Model

MARRIAGE: Institutional Model vs. Soul-Mate Model
“Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal.” ~ Louis A. Anspacher (American Playwright and Director)
In a recent essay in the inaugural edition of National Affairs, a quarterly journal of essays discussing domestic policy, political economy, and society and culture, Dr. W. Bradford Wilcox discusses the rise of divorce in the United States as Americans have abandoned the “institutional model” of marriage, choosing instead a “soul-mate model.”  In his essay, The Evolution of Divorce,” Professor Wilcox, Director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, describes how changes in divorce law and societal mores have essentially gutted marriage.
“Fault” or “No-fault”
In 1970, California irrevocably changed the way people look at marriage and divorce by passing the nation’s first no-fault divorce law. Prior to 1970, a divorce required spousal wrongdoing or “fault.” Without establishing “spousal fault,” there were no legal grounds for divorce, and marriage remained intact. 
California’s no-fault law removed the requirement for a spouse to establish “fault” as cause for divorce. No-fault laws provide either spouse the freedom to sue for divorce for any reason or for absolutely no reason. These new laws birthed the concept of unilateral divorce – the ability of one spouse to end a marriage anytime they desired.
Since 1970, only New York has failed to adopt strict no-fault laws. Every other state has adopted some form of “no-fault” law.
The Divorce Revolution
Dr. Wilcox argues in his essay that the “nearly universal introduction of no-fault divorce helped open the [divorce] floodgates…because the laws facilitated unilateral divorce and provided moral legitimacy to the dissolution of marriages.” He further explains how the “anti-institutional” nature of the period also contributed greatly to the rise in divorce. During the 1960s and 1970s, America was experiencing great societal experimentation and change, with the growth of “swinging” (the practice of wife swapping) and advancement of feminism, contributing to the rise of the divorce revolution.
Institutional Model vs. Soul-Mate Model
The most harmful change during this period was the supplanting of the “institutional” model of marriage by a “soul-mate” model of marriage. Prior to the divorce revolution, respect, duty, obligation and sacrifice characterized most marriages. Under the institutional model of marriage, spouses valued family cohesion and growth over individual desires. The institutional model focused fundamentally on the universal ideals of marriages and family, including intimacy, mutual support, child-rearing and shared values.
Conversely, the divorce revolution resulted in increased value being placed on individual desires and expectations, giving birth to the “soul-mate” model of marriage. The primary focus in this soul-mate model of marriage was no longer the success of the family, but the ability of the individual to experience an intense emotional relationship with another. Wilcox explains that failure to maintain such an intense emotional relationship with a spouse often leads to personally unfulfilling marriages, which in turn is more likely to motivate one or the other spouse to divorce. 
The impact on children and marriage
Wilcox’s essay extensively discusses research findings regarding the impact of the rise of divorce and the psychological changes a “soul-mate” model marriage has had on children and marriage. While the institutional model prioritized the welfare of children and family unity, the soul-mate model “prioritized the emotional welfare of adults...” This societal change resulted in the following:
  • Since 1974, approximately 1 million children per year will see their parents’ divorce;
  • 31% of adolescents of divorced parents dropped out of high school;
  • 33% of teen girls of divorced parents became teen mothers; and
  • 11% of boys from divorced families end up spending time in prison before age 32.
It is estimated that, if the institutional model of marriage remained intact today as in 1960, and America had not undergone such major societal changes, the following would have resulted:
  • 750,000 fewer children repeating grades;
  • 1.2 million fewer school suspensions;
  • approximately 500,000 fewer acts of teenage delinquency;
  • about 600,000 fewer children receiving mental health therapy; and
  • approximately 70,000 fewer teen suicide attempts.
Wilcox’s research clearly demonstrates the damage the divorce revolution has caused to the lives of millions of children. However, the essay further illuminates the devastating impact divorce has had on marriage itself. Since 1970, the marital quality experienced by husbands and wives has fallen, while divorce rates have risen. The decline in marital quality and increased divorce rates have served to undermine marriage, as couples and young adults lose faith in marital permanency. Over the last 30 years, cohabitation has surged – from 439,000 in 1960 to 6.4 million in 2007. 
While the essay notes that marital happiness (quality) has stabilized and divorce has decreased in the last several years, high divorce rates continue to exist for less-educated and poor Americans. Wilcox exposes the new challenge America faces as the nation attempts to address the current “divorce divide.” 
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