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Parents Matter

Parents Matter
“If you want your child to walk the righteous path, do not merely point the way – lead the way. ~ J.A. Rosenkranz, PhD.

Two recent research briefs published by Child Trends – a nonprofit, nonpartisan research center that studies children at all stages of development – takes a look at teens’ perspectives on romantic relationships and decisions about sex.  Most parents believe that adolescents are primarily influenced by today’s culture – television, friends, movies, books, blogs and social networking sites, such as MySpace and Facebook.  While each of these factors play a role in shaping adolescents’ thoughts regarding relationships and sex, parental influence and modeling (or the lack of models) remains a teen’s primary influence.

Telling It Like It Is: Teen Perspectives on Romantic Relationships

In Child Trends’ research brief, “Telling It Like It Is: Teen Perspectives on Romantic Relationships,” researchers conducted focus groups with teens in the Washington, DC area regarding their thoughts on romantic relationships.  According to the study, four primary themes were identified:
  1. Teens have developed their own ways to describe their relationships;
  2. Teens have a clear understanding of what a healthy relationship looks like;
  3. Teens have low expectations of experiencing a healthy relationship; and
  4. Teens see similarities between the way they view romantic relationships and the way adults define their own relationships.
As the brief points out, the research findings were encouraging regarding adolescents’ understanding of healthy relationships, but adolescents settling for less raises concerns for parents and society alike.  While teens appear to understand the healthy components of romantic relationships, which include qualities such as respect, trust, honesty, fidelity and good communication, they do not expect to achieve them.  One of the causes for the low expectation of teens is that they have very few examples of healthy relationships or marriages.  Not surprising, “some teen girls specifically referred to the absence of fathers as a primary example of the lack of positive models.”

Parents Matter: The Role of Parents in Teens’ Decisions About Sex

The need for healthy parenting models is further illuminated in Child Trends’ research brief, “Parents Matter: The Role of Parents in Teens’ Decisions About Sex.”  This brief confirms that parents remain the primary influencers on adolescents’ decisions about relationships and sexual activity.  Despite many parents’ belief that non-family factors have a greater influence on their children, 47 percent of 12-19-year-olds surveyed reported that their parents had the most influence on their decisions about relationships and sex.  Further, 34 percent of those surveyed reported their parents were the most influential.

Additionally, research found that households with high parent-teen relationship quality increases a parent’s influence on their teen children.  While the research notes that there are differences between parental relationships with daughters and sons – girls having better relationships with their mothers and boys with their fathers – higher levels of parent-adolescent relationship quality positively correlate with reduced levels of early sexual activity.  In two-parent homes, children who reported high relationship quality with both parents were even less likely to become sexually active at an early age.

The study also found that parental awareness and monitoring not only increased parent-adolescent relationship quality, but also helped prevent “risky” teen behavior.  The simple act of creating consistent family dinners positively influences adolescent behavior.  The study confirms that parental involvement is imperative to the healthy development of a child’s relationship to his parents, and to an adolescent’s sexual behavior. 

Parents Opportunity

However, while parental involvement, communication, monitoring and awareness are critical to raising a child, raising Christ-centered children is a greater challenge.  On Saturday, November 14, 2009, you can join thousands of parents across the country as Focus on Parenting hosts a simulcast conference looking at parenting through the eyes of God and the benefits of God’s design for your family.  Learn how to help your children and family thrive.  For more information and locations please visit their website.


Posted on November 12, 2009
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